Competency coaching requires a deeper understanding of a few principles of human nature. We all know that a person can become successful, if only he fully utilises the hidden potential for the benefit of self and the world. To move towards that goal, one needs to know one’s own hidden potential. Many a times, it is not possible to know the hidden talent. Without feedback, recognition and support, no one can even know his own strength. In the rumbles and jumbles of life, a fine talent may even go unnoticed. In absence of nurturing and coaching, a hidden talent may die in deeper levels without getting displayed as a great power that can impact people, society and the world at large.
Our Senior Leaders and Managers in organisations have this significant responsibility of guiding and coaching the young executives to develop them as future leaders. Fundamentally, Leaders, Coaches and consultants are required to fine-tune the budding leaders to succeed to achieve this important mission. Self-management is the basis for managing others. It must start from me.
There are two dimensions that always interplay with in me. One: the Experiencer “I”; Two: the Doer “I”. The feeling of experiencer “I” emerges from the five senses of sight, sound, smell, touch and taste. The role of the Doer “I” is played as an executor of actions backed by the “Thinker” which is sandwiched between. The Experiencer and Doer dimensions are interwoven in ourselves and often we get into problems by mixing both, forgetting their independent nature. “Thinker” here, is not considered as the third dimension. Thinker is the screen on which Experiencer “I” is projected and the Doer “I” is motorised by.
What we discuss here is about the two aspects -the “Experiencer” and “Doer”, which are both illuminated by the “thinker”. (This writing is inspired by an idea used in a lecture by Swami Paramarthanandaji who talks about the “Bhogi” and “karta”(Experiencer and Doer) in a different spiritual context)
I am choice-less, as Experiencer “I”, but I have a choice as a Doer “I”. When experience is choice-less, there is no point in grumbling or blaming any one. The moment I accept my role of “Experiencer”, my will power will release the role of “Doer”. An intelligent “Experiencer” releases “the Doer” from the tyranny of “Experiencer”. The first step is to seclude the “doer” while the “experiencer” mode is switched on. Now I am ready to use my free will as a “Doer”. Coming out of the world of “Experiencer” where I have no choice, now, I have a choice as a “Doer”. To be an effective “doer”, it requires a greater amount of self-effort, to drive away the possibility of becoming a fatalist who depends on destiny. Now, in this mode, I alone can make my life successful or I am responsible for my own failure. But, the effort thus put in, must be sufficient, and in the right direction to reach defined destination. Sufficient effort in right direction must continue till the goal is achieved.
Life journey is loaded with uphill tasks and risks. Education is uphill for students. After that, getting a job becomes a challenge. Then, moving on to job life, family life and social life, it may appear that, life is a perennial tough adventure. It is like a game and it is the game! The game is played with two forces. The Self-effort, which is in my control at one end; and a push or pull of the world, on which I have no control at the other end. We move faster when pushed and slowdown or stalled when pulled. A wing of self-effort and another wing of push and pull of the world lift us to make the journey.
As a doer, I must do what I have planned and also help others to do what they wish to do and can. The problems come up when I think that others are supposed to do what I wish them to do. When a Manager expects his executive to do something to meet his goal, or a parent expects his child to do something as he/she desires, it is a wish part the “experiencer”, where there is no role for the “Doer”. Playing the role of an “experiencer”, I can never become an efficient “Doer”. Thus, in that mode, a manager can never help his executive to do or a parent can help a child to do the desired activity.
Here, we must remember an important principle that any action is prompted by the desire of the person who acts upon. If my executive or my child has to do an action, he must be backed by a desire. Whose desire? Is it mine? No. Because, the effort is ineffective if the locus of action and locus of desire are not same.