Source | LinkedIn : By Srinivasan (Cheenu) Gowrikanthan
I notice many people who say, something along the following lines:
- “I intended to do this, but,”
- “That was my intention and the result was different!”
- “I wanted to do this, but”
- “I’d like to thank you / inform you / invite you”
(Let me say this as well – I used to be one such person, until I became aware! And with awareness, I have changed my actions at least in a majority of the time.)
I have had many interactions with people on this, and especially with my clients. And when I say,
“Whatever it is that a person has, is really what that person intended and not the other way around!”
there is a very strong, determined and sometimes indignant reaction from most people.
We have all come across persons who come in late to meetings, and they often say, “I intended to be here on time, but the traffic was so bad!” Maybe you have also said this sometimes.
And to the person who is late, they are convinced that:
- they intended to be on time
- external factors (traffic etc) were beyond their control
- these contributed, if not totally controlled the result
- and therefore, they were delayed
- and, along with it comes overtly or covertly, “what could I do?”
And on the same lines, an interaction took place when a few of us were on an overnight motorcycling ride to the foothills of the Nilgiri hills. And in the evening, sitting down together and sipping our favourite beverages, the topics went from one to another beautifully. As always during such get-togethers, there was much sharing of knowledge and learning, and of course much laughter and leg pulling that is common amongst good friends.
And the talk somehow moved on to “figures of speech” and common usages as people call them. One friend, who has also been on this journey of learning, commented how we hear people say,
- “I’d like to thank you” or
- “I’d like to welcome Mrs. Or Mr.” or
- “I’d like to say sorry” or
- “I’d like to invite” and so on
And this friend said, “People don’t realize that it is not enough to say ‘like to’ and it does not really do what they say they want to!”
There is a big difference between, “I’d like to thank you!” and “I thank you!”
I added, “I’d like to” is a statement of what a person WOULD LIKE to do. Many a time, people just say “I’d like to” and don’t actually do what they say they’d like to. For example, when someone says, “I’d like to thank you” they have NOT thanked the person. When they say, “Thank you!” is when they have actually thanked!