Don’t stay Where You’re Tolerated, Go Where You’re Celebrated

By | Raja Jamalamadaka | Industry speaker | Neuroscience coach | Marshall Goldsmith awardee | Author | LinkedIn Top voice | IIT | Harvard

While on a whirlwind tour of the US this week, I struggled with a stiff neck. To relieve myself of the accompanying excruciating shooting pain, I went to a spa where the therapist – Candice – gave me a warm welcome. As I waited for my turn, she took all the preliminary information on my health. However, I noticed that she did more than just take “some” information, she was 100% interested in understanding my therapy needs before recommending the right solution. After a few minutes, Jack – Candice’s boss – walked in. It was then that I got to know the real Candice.

Jack was all praise for Candice and her terrific skills. Apparently, Candice was the toast of the spa – loved and praised in equal measure by everyone. She received some of the best reviews from her clients – positive review notes were splashed across the walls of the spa. Aside of making the highest salary, she made the most in tips.

I wondered what helped her perform so well. After the therapy (which was expectedly relaxing), she shared her story. She had changed 12 jobs in the past 10 years. She was called the “rolling stone” by her friends because of her frequent job changes. What made her shift so often?

“I wasn’t a poor performer when I started off, but soon became one.”

“Why so?”

“Anyone who starts off at any job, does so with full energy and at an average level of performance on their first day. From that point on, their performance goes either up or down based on how they are treated. IF they are treated with respect and fairness, offered space and opportunities to learn and are encouraged, their performance will improve – these staff members are now on an upward trajectory. Unfortunately, the converse is just as true – and that’s my story. 

For ten years, I started every job with the best intent but soon lost the momentum – all that my bosses noticed were my smallest mistakes. Constant put-downs, nitpicking disguised as “feedback” and expectations of perfection masquerading as “high standards” reduced my confidence – and with it, my performance. At that point, I felt that I was just being “tolerated” by my bosses. I just left in disgust.

At this organization, the experience has been altogether different. I started with the same level of enthusiasm and at an average level of performance. However, here I was encouraged – even feted – for the simplest of successes. Failures? I don’t remember too many. Not because they weren’t any but because I wasn’t constantly reminded of those. Contrast that with the previous jobs where the only thing I was recognized for was my failures. Here, everything is celebrated. With each celebration, I started to believe I was really good and my performance shot up. Do I have any special skills? Honestly, I dont – I am just treated special. The constant appreciation and the feeling of being treated special makes me one and brings the best out of me.”

Her message?

“Dont stay Where You’re Tolerated, Go Where You’re Celebrated.”

I went for a therapy for my neck – what’s above my neck benefitted the most from the treatment.

I would love to hear your views. Please leave a comment in the comment box below so I can learn from your experience.

Republished with permission and originally published at Raja Jamalamadaka’s LinkedIn